It's 4:30 and I'm...

kicked out of my own bed..  Alex  woke up and decided that he wanted to play. We convinced him to lay in bed with us, but there just wasn't the room.  My big belly was hanging off the edge, he was kicking me in the back and I had to just get up.. 

So, I guess I'll blog about my hospital visit friday night. I don't really want to, but what else is there to do at 4:45 in the am?  I went for and NST (stress test-routine). I do them twice a week now. Her heart rate was sometime 185 (not good) to 145 (fine).. There was lots of kicking (good) and some hick ups. :)  The nurse was type 1 diabetic and we did a lot of talking. She called the dr. with my results and since I had have a VERY BUSY DAY, I hadn't checked my sugar like I should have.  As a result, he said, "if she doesn't get her act together by Monday (tomorrow) I'm going to admit her to the hospital for the next 5 weeks". 

I didn't really show emotion while I was there except to joke it off with the nurse, but I cried all the way home and then more at home when Alex came running saying, mama mama mama and jumping into my arms.. The thought of loosing my family for 5 weeks.. Not good.

So, I did really good Sat. on my eating and checking my sugars and I had really good results all day. Even right now I'm a 94 (good) and eating some almonds (also good).. But it's  only been one day. I am completely convinced that most of the people around me don't know what it's like to be addicted to food.   For them, the choice of having a healthy baby or eating whatever is not a question.  They would all choose the healthy baby. I can't.  I suppose this is what I needed. The saying is "one day at a time". For me it's one minute at a time.. 

One thing we did Sat. was  plan out what we were going to make for dinner for the week.  I would say, that's usually my downfall.. The not knowing what to make, having something convenient and that always being bad for me, followed up with something sweet. So hopefully this will be one step in the right direction. We also checked out the new Fresh & Easy Market.. A pre-made salad for $3.50 isn't bad.. They are big enough for 2 servings. I got 3 for the week.. 

Anyway, I'm going to try to go back to bed. Things sound pretty quiet in there and hopefully Alex is back to sleep.. 

I suppose we'll find out Monday if I'm going to be locked up in prison or not.. I'll let you know.. 

I guess, just pray for strength for me.. I really need it...