Stupid Blogger

I've gone a done it again..  I'v messed up my blog.. by just picking a new templet, I've lost the "blogs I read"  I'M PISSED!!!!!  I can't figure out how to get it back.. Let alone everyone's info...  

S**T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

 

I really need chris to come home if not for any other reason than my own selfish computer needs!!!!!

MIssing Chris

Chris doesn't know this, but I printed a calendar, stuck it to my wall and have been counting down the days until he comes home... We now have 2 1/2 days to go..  :)  & :( at the same time..  I can't wait for him to come home.. Have I already said this??  I'm sure I have..  :( 

Alex's New Favorite Hat

So Alex looooves this hat from Bennie & Joey's party.. When ever we leave the house, he has to grab his hat.. Like an old man.. It's so funny..  He took it to breakfast this morning when we met GM & GP.. Sooooo cute..  

Leah's Bday Party

Rachel put on a great party for Leah.. She had so many activities for the kids to do...  I keep saying I have a lot to learn from Rachel about being a good mom.. She's so good at kid stuff!!..  Alex liked hitting the pinata (sp?).. He didn't want to let anyone else have a turn.  But boy was he happy to get that sucker.. :) 

Camo Birthday Party

So today Alex and I went to Bennie & Joey's birthday party. They are 4 years apart, but their b-days are 2 days apart..  Easier for Vicki (for now anyway).. We had a good time. I think I got tired before Alex did. There was a huge water slide. You know, from a bounce house company.. The older kids loved that. And she had a separate pool for the little ones. . Here are some cute pics. Alex actually kept his hat on most of the time while eating his cake and ice cream.. 

Then we came home and both went straight to bed.. We were both soooo tired.. When we awoke, I found Alex sitting with vomit all around him in his crib.. Guess the hot dog, chips, cake and ice cream were all a little too much for him..  I  decided that vomit

 and a pregnant mommy do not mix..  Chris will have to take over this task when he comes home. Sorry honey..  And the cat litter is calling  you too..  

Here is Alex talking to Chris on the phone  tonight. He has been kissing the phone when  Chris is on the other line.. It's cute but also very sad..  

Movies

So I just watched  "The Other Boleyn Girl" and LOVED it..    It is a must see..  Well for girls anyway..  Natalie Portman  was awesome and Scarlett Johansson was great too...  And the King was just plain HOT..  But it was an interesting movie.. There's lots of mischief going on in those Castles.. 

Yosemite

Naisa is the cutest!!  She had a problem with the dog (scared of dogs) but very graciously invited Alex and I to play at her house if I left my dog at home. Thanks for the invite.  :) 

Isaac and Zack making Smores for themselves and Alex. 

Alex like Smores  very much! 

Alex also like popcorn very much!!! 

And he likes bikes..  He thinks he's ready, but he's not.. Maybe a trike. 

New Template

I got tired of the pink.. It was really just tooooo much..  Sorry people.. 

Morning Sickness - All day long!

I think this baby doesn't like me.. I through up yesterday for the first time.. I never did that with Alex..  But I have found a soup I can eat. Yeah.. Because of all this sickness, I've lost 6 lbs and my blood sugar keeps crashing.. What a mess..  

Have I said a million times I'm ready for Chris to come home???? 

On the way home...

Well, I've thought about whether or not I was going to write about this and decided I probably should. I've had such a terrible time with this pregnancy and things seem to always just get worst. 

I went camping after all. The drive was much longer than I had thought and when I finally arrived, I started crying. My uncle and cousins probably thought I was crazy.. I was just soooo tired.  Camping was great. My family really helped me with all the lifting and carrying of the stuff.. (Thanks) There were bears, lots of chipmunks, and Alex had a blast. (Although he fell and bit right through his top lip.)  I think it's great that my uncle makes the opportunity available to us each year. Without him setting it up, none of us would probably go. 

On the way home I pulled off the road and slept for about 15 minutes. It was much needed. The road was windy, I was tired and we had a 3 hour drive ahead of us. I got to Lesa's house, they took great care of us, we spent the night and the next day, Alex and I had lunch with my aunt and uncle.

We left around 3pm.  About 4:45 I fell asleep at the wheel going about 80 mph on the 99.  I woke when we hit the dirt in the shoulder. I quickly pulled the wheel back to the freeway, over correcting to the right, then to the left, back to the right and finally ended up in a full 2- 360 rotations. All I could think was "we're going to flip, we're going to roll, turn into it, turn into it!!!"  I saw 15-20 cars and semis trying to avoid me each time my car was facing their direction. I finally pulled out of the spinning and was heading the right direction and still going about 50 mph. I tried to move to the right to get off the freeway, but there was someone there, so I waited and then pulled off the freeway. 

I sat there for what seemed like hours thinking it was a dream and that I was still asleep and it hadn't really happened. Then I looked and saw Alex in the back signing "more" and I knew it was all real.. He's crazy... 

I kept thinking, "am I okay? where are the people stopping to see if I'm okay?" 

NOT ONE PERSON STOPPED TO SEE IF I WAS OKAY.....

I called Chris but his phone was dead. I called my mom and went from being completely calm to completely hysterical. She was at work and had no idea what I was saying. It took a few minutes as it always does when someone is crying and being hysterical... But I finally got out that I was okay, Alex was okay...

I calmed down, got back on the freeway and drove home. I finally got ahold of Chris and told him what had happened. He was upset of course. 

I just can't get over that we A. didn't flip over and B. that no one hit us and C. no one stopped. 

Today has been interesting. My blood sugar crashed last night and again today. Susie came over to help me with Alex and keep my company. Thanks susie. 

When I laid down for a nap earlier all I could see when I closed my eyes was my car spinning on the freeway. I hope I can sleep tonight. I really need Chris to come home. 3 weeks is too long.. 

I feel bad for writing this entry. I know when my aunt reads my blog and  she will be upset for me. (I'm sorry and don't like making you worry.)  I was tired and alone and that's not a good combination. As much as I would like to not be here at my house while chris is gone, I don't think I'm going anywhere til he gets home. 

All I can say is that I'm glad we are alive.. I know how much people love me and it would be terrible if we were not here.. I know I had Angels yesterday. There is no other way to explain how I went through that and didn't have a scratch to me, the baby or the car.... 

The real question is why do I always have to crash when I'm pregnant?????    I don't like this! 

Good night and know that I love all of you and am glad to be here.. 

Baby Scare

Well, I started bleeding last night around midnight. I called the Dr.s office. The exchange woke him up (I felt terrible) and he said I could either go to the ER or come see him in the morning. So, I opted for the morning. I took Alex with me (that was interesting) and he checked me and we did and ultrasound. Good news. Still a heart beat and some movement. Also, the baby measured a week further than last week. So it is growing and still holding strong.. Needless to say, I was freaking out. Chris isn't here and that makes everything worse..  But we prayed and everything  seems okay. Here is the pictures. :)  I left it large format, so you could click on it and make it big.. 

Singing Praises of Dr. Andrews!

Long story, I'll try to keep it short.

 

When I was pregnant with Alex my Dr. wanted me to see a nutritionist to help with what to eat while being pregnant. They tried to bill my insurance $1000 for 2 visits. Yes, $500 a visit. My insurance said no.. We fought back and forth and WE finally paid the $1000. For this $1000 I got a needle container and learned how to shoot up insulin.. Gee thanks.. 

While in the Dr.s the other day he expressed that he wanted me to go back for a refresher.. I said, no thanks, I can't afford it.. I explained the situation and  he was OUTRAGED (on my behalf).. The next day I get a call from him saying that had I asked for the "cash price" it would have been $153-.  I didn't know about this cash price thing and now I do..  Live and Learn !!! (hurts sometimes)  So, then they (the diabetes  center) and said they wanted to see me and knew the old situation and that if the insurance didn't cover again, that the visit would be free. So I agreed to go and my appt. is today.

Then they called me again today and said that what had happened was very wrong and she is requesting a refund of $600 ish for us.. Very nice.. 

So thanks to Dr. Andrews who is the best Dr. I have ever gone to. The Newkirk family can attest to that. 

Then on my way home today I bought a bum lunch. He asked  for $1 to buy a soda in the morning and I made him promise to buy juice instead. He probably won't, but at least he had food for today. His name was Richard.. 

Chris

He left this morning. Well yesterday morning considering it is past midnight.. I always stay up late when he's not here. I stay awake until I just can't any longer. That way I don't lie awake thinking. 19 days to go.. Sounds terrible.. It is terrible.. 

But good news. He took a later flight cause the plane was full and got us a free $800 round trip ticket to use whenever.. Yeah. That will definitely come in handy.. We just need 2 more.. Thanks honey.

Lightspeed Work

So this week is dedicated to Lightspeed Systems and their first annual learning conference. If you look closely, you can see that Chris is a teacher of several classes.. Cause he's smart.. :) 

   

We went to the Crystal Palace last night and had a nice dinner.. I had probably the best Top Sirloin and couldn't eat it..  Pregnancy thing I guess.. It made me sick to even look at it.. Too bad..
   

Alex had a great time dancing among the old people who were all line dancing. And surprisingly they didn't mind him at all running through their dancing. In fact, there wasn't one person who didn't tussle his hair at some point.. He had a blast.. 

Tonight we went to the Nile Theater and hung out for a bit. They did some Q & A's and handed out some free stuff.. It was a little warm in there, so we all ended up at Sandrinni's where there were two guys playing music.  That was fun, but we had to go get Alex.. 

Tomorrow we all take off for Morro Bay for wine tasting and dinner.  No wine for me. I'm pregnant and working.. I've been on assignment all week documenting the conference for Lightspeed.. It's a much welcomed job during desperate times. 

Then we have a wedding the next day. Alex will be with my parents having fun with them and the turtles..  and will be cooler than all of us in Bak. Lucky dog..  

Ultrasound #1

Well we went to the Dr. just now and it's always hard.. cause I get in trouble because I don't do what I'm supposed to do with my finger sticks, charting numbers, and eating right.. Again, this is the hardest thing I've ever done.. I just can't explain how difficult an addiction is to someone who doesn't understand it. I know I should eat the right things for me and the baby, but the addiction wins almost every time. Sometimes it's not enough to know that I may go blind, loose my legs, or die.. Maybe I need to go to support meetings.. I just can't bring myself to surround my self with people who think they know what I'm going through.. Because their experience doesn't help me at all.. I don't really care that they've BEEN there and KNOW what I'm feeling.. I just want what I'm feeling to go away.. 

Back to the ultrasound.. the baby was very small and it was hard to see anything. Not "alarming" small, but we may not be as far along as we thought. So, we'll get a better measurement at the next one in 3 weeks.  But the heart beat was strong and regular. Which was comforting.. 

that's all for now. 

Truths

I'm overwhelmed and don't want to work.

All I want to do is sleep, but I can't stand to be in the bed and I hate our couch.. 

My friend said I was a downer every time she calls me and I only have bad things to say.  In high school I had another friend who called me "Miss Reality Check" all the time.. I'm starting to think they are both right.. Oh, I had another friend tell me today that she hopes she never gets on my "bad side"..  The problem is that not too many people know my sad, ugly, reality side.. I'm very much one of those people who is happy, outgoing, fun people to be around when I'm out of my home.  But the second I step foot in my house, I'm another person and I just want to be left alone by the world.. I get really tired of smiling and trying to make people happy... Sucks for Chris. I guess it's good that he likes that side too.. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mean at home, I'm just not loud, joyous, and crazy. 

But here's the real truth.. People think I'm nicer than what I really am.. Sorry people.. 

I think I need some spiritual healing.. God calls us to be content. I'm not really and I should be. I hate a lot of things about my house, my life, my weight, my neighborhood... Many things that are not easily changed.. Hot baths help when you're not fighting baby toys.. 

Sorry for the downer blogging.. Please don't say it's just the pregnancy.. I've been like this for probably 15 years.. 

Again, please no comments. I'm just venting. That's what blogging is partly for, right? 

Running Down Hill

So, this is Alex running down a ramp walk way and loving it.. The quality isn't great, but you can hear him and that's the best part.. We're in Pismo by the pool. 

Didn't take long

So this one will work for awhile.  Everyone seems to think I'm having a girl, so we'll switch to pink until we find out or I get tired of this one.. This is a difficult thing, you know... I looked though about 200 templets last night until I almost collapsed.. 

Okay, that's it.. I really have to get back to work. 

Home

and finally warm.. I was sooooo cold at the beach..    We had a good time. It was nice to get out of Bakersfield, even if it was with other people from Bakersfield.. Everyone goes to Pismo for the 4th.. Well all the crazy people do.. We semi-camped. long story. but got plenty of camp fires, smores, fireworks and swimming. (me & Alex in the pool and Chris in the ocean-he's such a beach boy... )  I don't however have any pictures to post as of yet.. I'm so tired, I'm  not even sure why I'm sitting here blogging.. Feeling guilty I suppose.. I'm thinking of changing my blog layout.. I think it's boring.. and I'm over it.. If anyone knows me at all, they would know that when I say I'm over something, I really mean it. Whether it be a type of food, a place or even a person.. Especially a person..  It may take me a few months or only moments, but whatever it is, it's on it's way OUT...  So, sorry blog templet I'm over you...  Hummmm.. got off track.. tired.. So, the 4th. I was glad to come  home.. so was Alex.. He was so excited to be able to run around without us telling him "come here, no  no no no no, don't touch that, hot, ouch" etc... Poor baby.. this trip totally affirmed that we are ONLY having 2 kids.... NO MORE after this... 

Enough blogging.. I'm tired. and who cares anyway? I don't have any pics.. In fact, did a take any? Oh, yeah, I did take a great video of Chris and A on a funny bike.. We'll see if Chris has time tomorrow to help me with that..