Bun In The Oven

Well, it's official.. I have a bun in my oven.. Not bread.. :0)   I took a test yesterday morning and sure enough, it was positive.. So I'm very skeptical and needed to really be sure, so I went down and had a blood test right away and yep, Positive again..  It's official we're pregnant. 

We are both very excited about having this baby and what changes will happen in our family, how Alex will react to having a sibling, all the usual worries about being first time parents. I still consider us very new at this.. But the reality is that for generations upon generations families have been going through this same change and they've all made it somehow..  You just do it, moment by moment, challenge by challenge... sometimes making it up as you go.. I guess.  I think really those thoughts are all going through my head, but I'm not truly worried cause God always has a plan and wouldn't give us a baby He didn't want us to have..  My real fears come with my health condition.. and I know God is watching out for me, but really, it's a choice that I control myself every second of the day.

Today when  we were driving home from the beach it hit me... All the things I went through to have Alex. All the food choices, the needles, the insulin, the bruising, the shooting up in restaurant bathrooms, the constant Dr. visits, the blood sugar level charting,  the tears, the Dr. yelling at me (sweet and wonderful as he is) (which makes it worst that I could drive him to yell at me and in his words,  "drive him to drink")..  It's really the hardest thing I've ever had to do and now here I am again.. Asking for it..   And the family "helping" is something I'm not looking forward to..  The helping usually comes across like "if you eat that you're killing your baby".. Anyway, I don't want to get to heavy about family right now.  But, I have made choices in my life that have all led to this path that I now take and I just have to deal with that. It will be hard. This is why God doesn't give me morning sickness. He knows I can't handle that.  :) 

I know the pay off is worth it, it's just going to be a rough ride...  

Oh, did I mention that when you have diabetes, you pee more? So when you're pregnant and diabetic you pee even more...  Chris loves that part.. We already stop every 20 minutes... 

Have a good night. Know that I'm excited, just tired already thinking about it.