I'm so sad

Just a few minutes ago I walked past my answering machine and noticed it said "1"..  I thought, "what the hell happened???"  You see, my grandpa left a message for me a few years ago before he died and I've been saving it all this time. Sometimes I listen to it just to hear his voice.. It's gone. Someone must of hit "erase all".  I'll never know, but I feel as though he's died all over again.  Days go by and you stop thinking of people who have moved on. But I always knew that I could just go to my answering machine and hear, "Lacey, this is your grandpa, thank you for making that thing for my friend. K, bye"  I've listened to it a hundred times. I'm not sure why I'm crying so hard other than that I loved him so much.  I'm glad I gave Alex his name.

 Alex "Thomas" Newkirk. 

Alex (still in womb) and I were with him when he passed and I took this pic of him the Feb. before he died.

Many years ago, I interviewed my grandpa about his days during the Korean War. Now I really need to find those tapes. If I have to tear this house apart, I'll find them. There was always something about his voice. 

I guess I'll go to bed. There's not much else to do at 1 am and everyone asleep.  Sorry, Grandpa. :(