I'm so sad

Just a few minutes ago I walked past my answering machine and noticed it said "1"..  I thought, "what the hell happened???"  You see, my grandpa left a message for me a few years ago before he died and I've been saving it all this time. Sometimes I listen to it just to hear his voice.. It's gone. Someone must of hit "erase all".  I'll never know, but I feel as though he's died all over again.  Days go by and you stop thinking of people who have moved on. But I always knew that I could just go to my answering machine and hear, "Lacey, this is your grandpa, thank you for making that thing for my friend. K, bye"  I've listened to it a hundred times. I'm not sure why I'm crying so hard other than that I loved him so much.  I'm glad I gave Alex his name.

 Alex "Thomas" Newkirk. 

Alex (still in womb) and I were with him when he passed and I took this pic of him the Feb. before he died.

Many years ago, I interviewed my grandpa about his days during the Korean War. Now I really need to find those tapes. If I have to tear this house apart, I'll find them. There was always something about his voice. 

I guess I'll go to bed. There's not much else to do at 1 am and everyone asleep.  Sorry, Grandpa. :(

Our Glorious Weekend

We all (except Lauren) spent the entire weekend sick with the flu. Does it always work out that way, when you finally have a moments peace with nothing in the Palm, no obligations, no plans... you always get sick... I guess I'll just have to start planning something for every waking minute of our lives.  Then we'll be too busy to be sick.  

Aside from being irritated that our weekend was ruined, we were sick.. I mean, puking, diarrhea the whole bit.   Remember we still live in the same house.. You know the small one with only 1 bathroom.. Yeah, life is fun here in ole' Bako...  

On the other hand we did buy Slumdog Millionaire on pay-preview.  It was a good movie and makes me want to save starving little Indian children so they don't have to live on trash. Makes you happy your at home sick with the flu and you have "a" toilet to puke in instead of just to the side of where you're sitting.. 

Scary

Tonight while at the softball game, Alex disappeared from us.  It was only a matter of seconds and he was gone. We were all standing there watching the game.  Almost every person from Lightspeed  scattered running, yelling his name.  I ran for the toys, screaming "alex, alex".   I finally found him on the toy getting ready to slide down the slide.. My heart was pounding. Chris and I were both shaken up..  Of all days, today was already a tough day.  A couple from Teh.  had a funeral for their 2 year old daughter today.  I've been an emotional wreck since last Wed. (the day of the accident) and to loose him so quickly was just more fuel added to the fire..   

Sally Mae

Today I Sally Mae proved herself to truly be part of our family.  While Alex was taking a nap she decided to join him. It was soooo sweet.  Awhile later I walked by and he said " hiiii maaa maaa"  and he was facing the other direction with his head on Sally. She didn't mind. She loves him.. Like I said, it's cute..