Ultrasound #1

Well we went to the Dr. just now and it's always hard.. cause I get in trouble because I don't do what I'm supposed to do with my finger sticks, charting numbers, and eating right.. Again, this is the hardest thing I've ever done.. I just can't explain how difficult an addiction is to someone who doesn't understand it. I know I should eat the right things for me and the baby, but the addiction wins almost every time. Sometimes it's not enough to know that I may go blind, loose my legs, or die.. Maybe I need to go to support meetings.. I just can't bring myself to surround my self with people who think they know what I'm going through.. Because their experience doesn't help me at all.. I don't really care that they've BEEN there and KNOW what I'm feeling.. I just want what I'm feeling to go away.. 

Back to the ultrasound.. the baby was very small and it was hard to see anything. Not "alarming" small, but we may not be as far along as we thought. So, we'll get a better measurement at the next one in 3 weeks.  But the heart beat was strong and regular. Which was comforting.. 

that's all for now.