Truths

I'm overwhelmed and don't want to work.

All I want to do is sleep, but I can't stand to be in the bed and I hate our couch.. 

My friend said I was a downer every time she calls me and I only have bad things to say.  In high school I had another friend who called me "Miss Reality Check" all the time.. I'm starting to think they are both right.. Oh, I had another friend tell me today that she hopes she never gets on my "bad side"..  The problem is that not too many people know my sad, ugly, reality side.. I'm very much one of those people who is happy, outgoing, fun people to be around when I'm out of my home.  But the second I step foot in my house, I'm another person and I just want to be left alone by the world.. I get really tired of smiling and trying to make people happy... Sucks for Chris. I guess it's good that he likes that side too.. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mean at home, I'm just not loud, joyous, and crazy. 

But here's the real truth.. People think I'm nicer than what I really am.. Sorry people.. 

I think I need some spiritual healing.. God calls us to be content. I'm not really and I should be. I hate a lot of things about my house, my life, my weight, my neighborhood... Many things that are not easily changed.. Hot baths help when you're not fighting baby toys.. 

Sorry for the downer blogging.. Please don't say it's just the pregnancy.. I've been like this for probably 15 years.. 

Again, please no comments. I'm just venting. That's what blogging is partly for, right?